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Do you know what your love language is? If not, it’s time to find out! Love Languages are different ways that people express and interpret love. By understanding your own love language, as well as the love languages of those close to you, relationships can become even stronger and more meaningful.
There are five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Each one is important and expresses love in its own way. Learning your partner’s and your own primary love language will help create a stronger bond in your relationship. Sometimes it can be hard to understand our partners, they do say opposites attract, but at times, it can feel like they are from a different planet! So how do we really connect with them if they are so different?
Do you know what your love language is? Knowing is just part of the equation. In order for you to strengthen your relationship using The 5 Love Languages, you have to know what they mean and how to utilize them. Even more important, you have to really understand your partner’s love language.
Below are the 5 Love Languages
- Words of Affirmation
The Words of Affirmation love language expresses love with words that build your partner up and make them feel appreciated, using words to express appreciation and gratitude. The word may focus on how your loved one looks, a personality trait you admire, something they have done for you, or their positive attitude.
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If your partner’s primary love language is Words of Affirmation, it’s important that you regularly tell them how much you care. The word “they should know how much I love them so I shouldn’t have to say it” approach won’t fly. They need to hear it from you on a consistent basis.
One of the most important aspects of Words of Affirmation, however, is being genuine with those words. People whose primary language are Words of Affirmation care most about the intentions and emotions behind those words.
Examples of Words of Affirmation
– “I feel so lucky and blessed to have you.”
-“You are the treasure that I seek”
– “Wow! You look so good! I really love the new outfit. It looks great on you!”
-” I am strong and wealthy”
– “I am making beautiful progress”.
– ” I Love You My Chosen One”
– “Your smile means so much to me my King/Queen”.
-“ You are doing better than you started”.
– “I am proud of you”.
- Acts of Service
The old saying action speaks louder than words is true for someone whose love language is Acts of Service. People whose primary love language is Acts of Service feel your adoration through the things you do. Actions that go above and beyond help them feel your love towards them. They can be things like mowing the lawn, doing the dishes, or getting up in the middle of the night to take care of the little one, letting you sleep. Anything that can make your partner feel appreciated or that can help make their life easier.
Examples of Acts of Service
– Prepare breakfast, lunch, or dinner if your partner is usually the cook.
-Clean your partner’s car before they wake up.
-Take the kids and leave your partner to relax with no responsibilities for a few hours.
-Take out the trash.
-Pick up their mail.
– Taking care of them when they are sick.
– Pay the bills
– Hire someone to deep-clean the house.
Of the five love languages, ‘acts of service’ usually means don’t tell me you love me, but rather, show me you love me.
- Quality Time
Quality time is the love language that can seem hardest to achieve in today’s hectic world. Time is one of the most precious commodities out there, and special times together can seem fleeting. With intent and a bit of effort, however, you can swoon your partner senseless with some simple quality time examples.
– Have ongoing discussions about your fantasies.
– Play Truth or Dare!
– Go to the movies, but make it extra-romantic by pushing up the armrest between your chairs and cuddling through the whole show.
– Play the “question game.” Skip easy ones like “favorite color” and exchange thought-provoking queries like, “What is your favorite memory?” Or, “If you had to live at a different point in history, what would it be?”
– Read the same book and discuss it together
– Turn off your phones when you are out together.
– Create a photo album together of your favorite pictures of you two.
– If your bathroom has enough space, take baths or showers together. Wash each other’s hair.
– Pray together and discuss the word of God.
– Cuddling together in bed for a few minutes every morning before getting up.
Quality time may be one of your love languages if:
– You feel disconnected when you don’t spend enough time with a partner.
– Not spending enough time with your partner(s) affects your libido.
- Receiving Gifts
People whose love language is receiving gifts enjoy being gifted something that is both physical and meaningful. The key is to give meaningful things that matter to them and reflect their values, not necessarily yours. Giving gifts is a universal expression of love. The gifts don’t need to be expensive, we have often heard “it’s the thought that counts”. Choose a gift that shows you were thinking about your loved ones and knows them very well.
Ways to show love to someone whose love language is receiving gifts
– Picking up their favorite pastry or candy on your way home.
– Surprise them with gifts outside special occasions
– Surprising them with flowers whether store-bought or picked from the side of the road.
– Giving them a thoughtful greeting card.
– Getting them gifts on their special occasions.
– Buying them new special gifts.
- Physical Touch
Expressing and receiving love through physical contact is important for people whose love language is physical touch. Touch is the way they connect and feel connected with others.
The way you can and should touch others really comes down to the relationship you share. Expressing affection through physical touch can happen through small physical gestures, like a hug or snuggling. If appropriate, it can also involve more intimate contact like kissing, and yes, sexual activities.
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Examples Of Expressing Love Through Physical Touch
– Spending some time cuddling in bed before and after sleep
– Kissing a partner hello and goodbye
– Using touch when comforting them, such as placing your hand on theirs or holding them.
– Prioritizing sex, even if you have to schedule it.
– Hug them from behind
– Give them a massage
– Cuddle them at bedtime to help them fall asleep
– Kiss them on the forehead
– Hold your spouse’s hand while you pray together
– Ask them how they like to be touched sexually and non-sexually.
Everyone has a different way of communicating their love. While you shouldn’t take it as gospel, the love languages could be a helpful starting point on your way to understanding each other better. Know your love language and your partner’s love language today
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