A lot of people go into relationships with no idea of what they are going into, with no knowledge of what they want from relationships and lack of knowledge can ruin a lot of things …
Communication is very very important in any relationship, it makes you express yourself and your desires, When you are in a relationship, you should never assume that your partner wants exactly the same thing that you want.
Here are questions to ask your partner before dating.
1. Do you believe in God?
Find out about your partner’s religious beliefs. Know what your partner believes in …..This will help you on how to communicate on religious matters and to know if you are on the same page with your partner or not
2. Why did your last relationship end?
Whether you’re at the beginning of a new relationship, or you are considering getting more serious with your partner, it is important for both of you to reflect on past relationships and why they did not work. Sort that out and see if the same reason won’t occur again to avoid making the same mistake twice
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3. What are your love languages?
Love languages are an important way to test your compatibility with another person. If you’ve never heard of this concept, there are five love languages:
(I) Words of affirmation
(Ii) Acts of service
(III) Receiving gifts
(Iv) Quality time
(V) Physical touch and everyone has a preferred way to give love and a preferred method to receive love.
Don’t forget to ask about his/her love languages…
4. Do you believe in sex before /after the Wedding?
It is important you ask your partner about their sexual stand in a relationship before dating so as to know your next point of action.
Try to know if it’s someone that prefers sex before the Wedding or sex after the Wedding and know if you can cope with any of the replies to avoid unnecessary scenarios
5. What’s your personality type?
Are they an introvert or extroverts? These answers can also prove to be a huge indicator of compatibility.
6. Who is your role model?
This question will help you peer into their values and aspirations. “Finding out about who someone admires tells you a lot about a person … it allows the conversation flows very well
7. How do you communicate when you’re upset?
Everybody has different impulses when it comes to communicating negative feelings. If you plan on dating this person for a while, it helps to know what to look out for ahead of time.
8. How do you prefer to communicate?
Texting? FaceTime? DMs? Phone Calls? Inquiring about someone’s communication style and preferences is important
9. How often do you like to have sex?
Do you have similar sex drives? “If you’re feeling bold (and comfortable), you can ask them about their ideals and expectations when it comes to sex,”
“Are they someone who sees sex as a regular way of connecting several times a week? Do they place more value on physical touch and cuddling with sex being a bonus? It’s a good way to find out if you’ll be compatible in the long term.”
10. What are your plans for the next 5 years? 10 years?
If things are getting serious between you and your partner, it is worth discussing what your plans are for the future. I understand that not everyone is a planner and that not everyone has a five-year plan (much less a ten-year plan) totally worked out in their heads. But for the sake of your partner and your relationship, it is worth it to know what your general ideas are about the future.
Ask questions like
(a) Do you know where you want to live? Overseas? In your hometown? Somewhere new?
(b) Will you be applying to schools and expect flexibility on behalf of your partner?
(c) Do you want pets?
(d) Is marriage important to you or are you fine living together as domestic partners?
(e) Do you want children? How many?
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11. How do you like to spend your money?
Do they stick to a strict budget or spend as freely as they can?
In fact, people tend to feel more comfortable talking about sex than their bank account! Being financially compatible is important, but bringing this up too soon can make things uncomfortable. You’ll need to find this out, but wait until you’re a few dates in.”
12. What are the expectations for your relationship?
In the age of hook-up culture and as polygamy and polyamory are becoming more mainstream in the world of relationships, it is important that you and your partner are on the same page about your expectation for the relationship. It’s important to discuss this type of thing early on so that you are both respecting each other and each other’s wishes in the relationship.
– Are you exclusive?
– Or are you comfortable if your partner dates or sleeps with other people?
Do you hope to become exclusive at some point? If you are not exclusive, what are the expectations for your relationship with one another?
13. How were you raised?
14. Ask for his/ her medical history including Genotype, blood group, STD test, etc
15. List the best qualities you have to bring to a relationship.
16. What do you think are the benefits of being in a relationship?
17. What makes you believe that you are ready for a relationship?
18. How many times have you been in love?
19. What lessons have you learned from past relationships?
20. What is their relationship with their family? And yours?
Even though your relationship is ultimately about just you and your partner, it’s important to understand your respective family dynamics and expectations as the relationship gets more serious. Is your partner super close with their parents and plans to eventually end up living in the same city? Or is that something you want to do? Or is it that you want to live by your sibling? Or are you responsible for an aging parent or grandparent? Are people financially dependent on you? Or are you totally cut off from your family?
By Jolayemi Oluwadamilola
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